Time Removes the Distance

It’s fascinating how life relentlessly continues to move forward. There is no pause or stop or rewind button. It just keeps chugging along. This past Easter weekend I spent some time at a family member’s house who I had not been at in a long time. There are memories of my childhood in this house and being there again brought me right back. They brought me back to the time I ran away from home. They brought me back to the time I was getting ready for a high-school dance and hoping I’d find a girl who was willing to put up with my lack of dance moves. They brought me back to basketball camp, soccer games, and Nintendo 64 battles, among many other memories.

Upon going down this rabbit hole, I began to think back on some of the thoughts I’d have as I lay in bed as a child. I’d think to myself, “I hope I’m able to find love someday. I hope I’m able to find someone who I can be myself with. I can’t wait to have kids someday so I can give them all of my love.” These fantasy thoughts of having my own family would come often and at that time the thoughts felt like they were light years away from ever becoming a reality. But guess what, I am here now, living in those fantasy thoughts that I once held in my mind as a child. Those future thoughts that felt light years away are now my present moment.

I remember having those thoughts as a child and the reason that I had those thoughts and dreamed of them was because I often felt alone as a child. I felt separate and different. I often times felt like an alien who somehow made it to the planet Earth. And my belief was that if I had a wife and children, then that would be a sure sign that I am not separate and different. Having a family would be proof that I am worthy of Love.

Today, I understand that I am not that unique. That most people go through stages of feeling different and alone. It’s just usually not spoken about in the open. It’s part of the ego’s structure. It’s mission is to keep us alone and separate because if we’re connected and united, then the ego cannot survive. So it must practice ways of keeping the separation alive. Today, I understand that I am worthy of Love just for being me. Whether I have a family or not, whether I have a six pack or not, whether I have money in the bank or not, I am worthy. Our society usually flips those two around. It teaches us that once we achieve X, Y, and Z, then we are worthy. And in my belief, that is so far from the Truth. You are worth for simply being you. A true statement that I get to remind myself of often.

Now as I lay in bed my thoughts are much different than the fearful thoughts I once had as a child. However, I still have futuristic thoughts at times just like I did when I was a young boy. I think about being 50 years old and what that will look like. My boys will be grown up. They will be men. Will they have gone to college? Will they have girlfriends or wives? Will they be working? Will they be happy at their jobs? Will they still be at home? My parents will be in their 70s. Will they be happy, retired and traveling? Will my mom have grey hair? Will my dad have a big belly? Does any of this matter right now? Oh how interesting the mind can be. After having those thoughts for awhile that old familiar voice chimes in and says, “those times are light years away. Settle down.” However, as I know from being a child and growing to where I am today, I know that time always removes the distance.

Typically I am not one to talk about the past and the future in detail. I am a massive believer in the power of Now. I am a huge promoter of living in the present moment because that is where Life happens. However, it’s good to express the thoughts of the mind. Watch them and allow them to flow through. The reality is that those thoughts are there. If I tried to resist them, shut them down, or act like they weren’t there, it would be inauthentic.

Per usual, the ticket for me is balance and awareness. Our minds are capable of re-living the past and jumping into the future for a reason. So take that ride on occasion if that’s where the mind wants to go. But be sure that you are aware of it. Be sure not to get lost in it. Because if you live a life stuck in the past or dreaming of the future, are you really living a life? I don’t believe so.

So here I am expressing the thoughts and letting them out. In doing so I release them from the mind. In doing so I am able to be right here in this precious moment. In doing so I’m able to be fully here with my breath and aliveness. In doing so I am able to get lost in the beauty of the Now, the only place where bliss and ecstasy truly exist.